0032. i'm too tired to think of a song lyric

When we got home last night, we found that Ditto was still peeing on the floor in the bathroom, as well as in the kitchen.... in the kitchen. I'm not really ok with him peeing in the bathroom because it's gross, but it's been happening for so long that I've basically resigned myself to it. It's gross, but I hit it with some bleach and it's gone.

But peeing in the kitchen? OH HELL NO. I cannot and will not resign myself to that shit. It's disgusting, it's unsanitary, and it's just plain wrong!

What's worse is that he's still peeing blood. Yesterday it was really bad and seems to have tapered off a bit today, but it's still bloody and again: that's gross. So PK told me to call the vet and see what to do. Of course, they say "Bring him in!!" because apparently that means he's getting ready to block up again. I fail to see how him leaking everywhere means he's going to block up, but that's beside the point.

I can't stop thinking (or talking) about this stupid cat situation. It's destroying my freaking life!! I've talked to one of the guys in the counseling office about it, plus my Film & Lit professor (who noticed I was looking down today & asked me what was wrong - big mistake, I vented all over him), my boss, my mother, and everyone else who comes into the office.

This is fucking ridiculous. I shouldn't be this preoccupied with this stupid cat and I definitely shouldn't burst into tears when the vet tells me to bring the fucker in.

I called my psychiatrist because the bursting into tears part was a little alarming. She said that the bloodwork I had done last week to check my Lithium levels wasn't showing up in the computer so I need to come in tomorrow for more freaking bloodwork but she also wants to see me. At this point, I know I need it, so I'm not going to bitch about going to the psychiatrist.

0031. i wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad

I'm talking to a friend in IM right now about the whole Ditto situation (see my previous post if you have no idea what I'm talking about). Because it's basically a straight copy/paste from an IM conversation, it might not flow as good as you're used to when I ramble... ok, it's exactly what you're used to when I ramble. But here is the end of the tale. (see what I did there? Tale/tail... nevermind)

The vet wanted to charge us $840. In addition to the $333 I already paid, it'd be $1173, which we're definitely not willing to pay.

We went in the back to talk to the dr & we told him that we felt like he basically held Ditto for ransom because we kept asking how much it was and they never would tell us. That hurt the doc's feelings so he said he'd knock an additional $250 off (he already gave us a 25% discount, which was $300 off - that's how much work they did on him). PK SAID NO!

He told Doc that he knew a lot of time & work was put in, so how about $125 instead. Doc said no, he fucked up, so he'd meet in the middle & $175 has been knocked off. It's now $665, which is more manageable since we're splitting it, but still. If they would've given us regular financial updates, he would've been put down $600 ago.

PK added everything up (including the $333 I paid last week), divided it in half and subtracted what I already paid. My "half" is $166, but that leaves him with $499 and that's an awful big ass chunk out of the money he's saved for Italy. I'm going to go ahead & pay half of the current total because I'm a good wife.

He didn't want the doc to think that we're all about the money (sorry, but in this instance, we are - we're trying to save money for Italy & he's WAY BEHIND ON SAVING) We can actually afford to pay the entire thing without any money being knocked off. I just don't want to. Like I said. Saving for Italy. I'd like to have AT LEAST $1000 saved up, but I'd prefer to have $2000.

The doctor knew he'd fucked up by not keeping us in the loop even though we asked every day about the current price on Ditto's treatment. That's why he knocked off 25% and then offered to knock off the additional $250.

PK wasn't pissed because it cost so much. He knew that having a cat in the hospital for 7 days wasn't going to be cheap. He was pissed off about the fact that they didn't tell us when they were doing something or let us know every day when we asked them what the total was.

Wednesday, when I talked to the chick dr, I was of the understanding that it'd be around $300 if Ditto came home on Friday. They kept him over the weekend and suddenly it's over a grand? Seriously?! I get that they saved his life, but $1173? SERIOUSLY??

They saved his life because he had a severe bacterial infection in his bladder. He had "sand" (crystals) in his bladder that ended up stopping him up completely. He couldn't pee at all, his bladder filled up and nearly burst (which is why he was screaming, couldn't get comfortable, & threw up - he was in that much pain). After they put a catheter in and drained his bladder, they did blood work and noticed that his kidneys were failing. if they hadn't done everything they did, he would have died.

Supposedly he's not going to pee everywhere anymore. We have to keep an eye on him to make sure he's actually peeing because there's a chance he'll stop up again. We have to change his diet (wet food only now - dry food isn't actually good for cats because there's so many carbs in it & they need protein, not carbs) & medicate him... although that's for an entirely different reason.

Ditto chases/attacks his tail. Seriously. He attacks that thing like it slapped his Momma. He growls at it & bites it and all sorts of other weirdness. We used to just laugh at him, but when we brought it up with the doc, she said it might he hyper sensitivity or hallucinations. The other doc (the owner of the clinic) checked him out and apparently Ditto suffers from mild seizures. He'll be on liquid phenobarbitol for the rest of his life.

He's now resting comfortably in my closet and I imagine when I go lay down he'll end up laying down with me (he's all cuddly now that I'm being nice to him). It's nice not having an insane cat who pees everywhere. Hopefully it lasts.

0030. I need no soft lights to enchant me

iTunes: The Nearness of You - Norah Jones

Mood: tired/exhausted/overworked/underpaid...

I took Ditto to the vet last week because I was tired of him peeing everywhere. I was hoping it was a medical thing so we could give him a few pills or get him a shot and he'd be over it. Well, PK was right that it was medical, but I was wrong that it'd be a quick fix. They diagnosed him with a bacterial infection in his bladder and "probably some kind of kitty mental issue where he hallucinates, and that's why he chases his tail everywhere... that, or he's super sensitive to everything around him and he's responding to that" (gotta love how exact medicine is). He's been at the kitty hospital since last Tuesday, when he threw up on my couch and FREAKED OUT because he was in so much pain. Whatever they gave him stopped him up and he couldn't pee at all! The day after he was admitted, they told me that his fucking kidneys had shut down! He's doing better now, but what the fuck did they give him??? He was FINE except for peeing on the bathroom floor & sometimes the bed. Now his bladder is so bad that he needs a fucking catheter and his kidneys are shutting down???? Something's seriously weird about this whole thing....

I've been on the phone with the vet every day since he was admitted. I ask how he's doing (because even though I'm mad at him for peeing everywhere, I feel bad for him and I realize that he's really a sweet kitty when he's not hurting) and then I ask how much the bill is, because I know keeping a cat hospitalized isn't cheap. They haven't told me how much it is. The last time I had a real solid number ($300) was Wednesday. I kept asking, because PK set a limit of $500. They kept telling me that the doctor hadn't put the notes into the computer yet, so they weren't sure and the doctor would call later to give me a medical and financial update on the cat. I got the medical update, but not the financial update. Saturday, when the doctor finally gave me a total... $830. In addition to the $333 I paid on Monday for "a routine visit that costs $100", the total is now $1163. And even better: the fucking vet hasn't called me back yet, the clinic closed at 6:00, and now there's an additional day of hospitalization to worry about (which is $55 per day).

Oh crap, I realized that there are 2 additional days tacked on to that $1163, because I spoke to him on Saturday. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I'm sorry, I love Ditto, but there is no cat in this entire world that's worth $1273 (plus whatever medical crap they had to do to him since Saturday).

There goes every bit of money I saved for Italy. FUCK! I feel like they kidnapped my cat, performed all kinds of procedures on him THAT I DID NOT AUTHORIZE (like the x-ray on Monday that cost $106 and was completely unnecessary), and are now holding him for ransom. I'm wondering if I can tell them I'll pay them the $500 I planned on and they can fuck themselves on the rest.