0042. tearing my hair out

iTunes: "Get the Party Started" - Pink (BossLady's music)
Mood: stupid

Algebra test next Monday and I'm not prepared. I got a 28 on my last test. Yes, you read that right. A 28. I've never made a 28 before. Ever. In fact, the lowest grade I've made before now is a 68.

Math has never been my strongest suit, but I can't help but feeling like I'm stupid. I know that I'm not, but I still can't help feeling like I am. I'm studying with my dad as often as I can, staying up entirely too late and paying the price for it by falling asleep during the day and becoming an emotional crying/screaming mess when I'm supposed to be at work or in class.

It's not pretty. I've found myself apologizing more often than not to my co-workers when I start babbling or sobbing over something completely trivial. BossLady asked me this morning how my day was going so far and I burst into tears.

"Apparently not well."

Nope, not at all. My next test is Monday, it's only Tuesday, but I'm already convinced that I'm not going to do well. And even though I know having this defeatist attitude will do me no good, I can't help but have it. I don't understand anything about the f(x), the g(x) or what the fuck one has to do with the other. I'm praying that my stepdad has both the time and the patience to teach me both because at this point, I'm going to fail hard if I don't figure something out, and I don't want to retake this class. I've never had to retake a class and I'm not about to start now!

I've got 2 weeks of class left and 3 tests (including the final) remaining. I will get this done.