0050. I'm confused.

I'm putting this on my personal blog, because I know not many people actually read it and I know this would cause an uproar if anyone actually did read it.

There was a boy named Ben Breedlove who recently passed away due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I'm very saddened to hear of his passing - especially on Christmas day. I send my condolences to his family. It's never easy losing a family member, especially when he had come so close to dying so many times before. Believe me, I know. My own mom has been battling her own illness for so many years now, I live in fear that I'm going to get the call one day that she's suddenly no longer with us, and the fear is crippling.

But everyone is talking about the two YouTube videos - parts one and two of his story in which he talks about the three times he cheated death and during the last time, he was unconscious, the EMTs were working on him and he was having a dream or a vision where he was in a white room and he saw Kid Cudi (his favorite rapper who I also love). I was touched by it all until it just ended after he said he didn't want to wake up from the dream/vision, he asked if people believed in God/Angels, said that he did, and that was it.

He basically said that he wanted to die. At least, that's how I interpreted it. I mean, how else can you interpret someone saying that they didn't want to wake up from a dream/vision (while they're essentially dead, because all of his bodily functions weren't working at that point. His heart had stopped, he wasn't breathing, and the EMTs were working desperately to bring him back to life. He says it right there in the video that when you die, your brain still works for a short time. But he was, for all intents and purposes, dead for the 3 minutes that the EMTs were working on him and he was having the vision. And he didn't want to come back from that.

I really do understand wanting that sense of peace. I understand being tired of fighting to stay alive. I've seen my mom fight through her illness for the past 12 years. It's not easy. It's not fun. It's a constant struggle for her just to stand up straight or to breathe most days. But she does it.

I'm very sorry that he passed away. I really am. I don't wish ill on anyone, ever. It's very sad when someone dies. It's even more sad when that person is young and has unfulfilled potential the way that Ben obviously did. I'm just puzzled at certain things about the video. Am I missing a 3rd part of his story? Or did he not get to film the 3rd part because he passed away before he could?