Ever since I joined the Navy and moved away, my relationship with Gigi has suffered. We're not nearly as close as we used to be. Lolo and I joined the Navy together, but she got out way before I did, got married, and moved to the other side of the city. I'm happy that she's married, has a beautiful baby girl, and is happy, but I miss my friend. And Nerf, my BFF from the Navy, moved to California to be with her husband. I can't be mad about that because I'd do the exact same thing, but I miss my best friend. I miss them all so much.
I feel like I"m being really needy and whiny right now, but I miss nights when I'd go over to Nerf's (or she'd come to my place), and we'd bake cookies from scratch, watch chick flicks, and stay up all night talking. I miss walking in the door and her immediately reaching for whatever it is I needed at that moment (because she somehow always knew) and sitting down with me on the couch and cuddling with me. It's hard to have that kind of strictly platonic friendship when you can cuddle up with someone and they don't think you're trying to get in their pants.
As for online... Most of my friendships are blog-related. And while I know that I could call any one of these women and they'd drop whatever it is they're doing to talk to me, I still feel as though I'm on the outside looking in. I don't blog as much as I should, I'm not on Twitter as much anymore, and I'm scared that I'll fade away. And because I don't blog as much as I should & I'm not on Twitter as much anymore, I feel like I'm missing out on a lot and people who I was close to in the past are forgetting about me.
I also feel like I'm not nearly smart enough to be blogging with some of the people I blog with. I look at their posts and I'm blown away by the amount of information they came away with after reading a book. I don't see symbolism. I don't see themes. I don't notice the subtleties that make a book. Well, I do when I'm actively looking for it, but if I'm not reading a book for a class, I don't see things like that. I read to get lost in the story and to lose myself for a few hours.
I know I'm being paranoid & ridiculous, but it's how I feel right now. And since this is my personal blog and I'm supposed to be totally honest in it... well, there you go.
2 comments:
{{HUGS}} I think we all feel that way a time or two in our life. I feel that way a lot. I stay at home with my kids and that's my life. I can't go out and do things like I did before. I try to focus on what I do have (at times it doesn't work) but if I focus to much on what I don't I get depressed and miss out on the blessings I do have.
And blogging....pish posh, you are a smart, intelligent, well spoken woman! I enjoy reading your blog and your take on the books you review because it's your point and really you don't want to be like everyone else, then you wouldn't be you ;)
Love you bunches! Cheer up!
Thank you Trish. I was having a bad night, so I really let loose with everything that's been on my mind, but I'm better today. Kinda.
You're right - I need to focus on the blessings that I do have. Cause at the end of the day what matters most is my family & friends. And I'm so very blessed to have people that love me and who I love in return in my life.
Post a Comment