0061. it turns out I am my mother's daughter

My grandmother used to tell me a story about how my mom would call her sobbing because something happened to someone. My mom would be crying so hysterically that Grams was certain something had happened to my dad (this was before they got divorced, obviously). When she finally got my mom to calm down enough so that she could understand what Mom was saying, she asked "Who the hell are you talking about?" to which my mom would tearfully shout at Grams "Pay attention! It's Luke and Laura from General Hospital!" (or something to that effect) Of course, my Grams would get frustrated and hang up the phone with a growl. Grams didn't watch soaps. Well, daytime soaps, anyway.

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT LAST SEASON'S GREY'S ANATOMY SEASON FINALE AND THIS SEASON'S PREMIERE. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED YET, GO HERE AND WATCH NOW.

I've always been a pretty emotional person. I told someone the other day on Twitter... or Facebook... I can't really remember which social platform it was. I'm on so many. *G* Anyway, I said that the first 5 seasons of Grey's Anatomy were so depressing that I actually wanted to jump off a cliff when I was watching. Especially when Meredith drowned. Jimminy Christmas, that was depressing. But now that Meredith and Derek are all happily married and stuff, the show's gotten better.

Sort of.

Lexie died in last season's finale. And of course, I cried. But when I finally managed to watch this week's season premiere, I found myself hysterically sobbing. If my Grams had been alive, I probably would have called her just so she could grunt and hang up on me too. For old times' sake, ya know? Watching them pull the plug on Mark Sloan just about killed me. Yes, he gets to be with Lexie, but he died. And that fucking sucks.

I know that he's not real, but I have to let it out so bear with me.

I have a lot going on in my life. School, family, etc. So, I watch these shows (and read these books) to let myself forget about everything that's going on. It's like stress relief, despite the fact that I get overly attached to the characters. I get to be involved in someone else's drama for a while, and I'm happier for it. That's pretty much how I feel about books too. And one of the reasons that I love trilogies and series so much. Because I get invested in characters and I get to see what happens "after the sunset", as it were.

So, after I finished sobbing my eyes out, I decided I'd go ahead and watch the last two episodes of Saving Hope online, since NBC was retarded and pulled the plug on a fantastic show. I figured it'd be good, since I knew that Charlie was going to wake up. How much could do wrong?

You know when that sentence is said, it only spells doom for the person saying it, right?

So here I am, crying again over a fictional character. I'd say that I need help, but this is my own form of therapy. I don't cry much in my real life. I don't like showing any kind of weakness. I've always had to be the "strong" one. And I hate being the "strong" one. I'm not strong. But since I stepped into that role without realizing it at three years old, I'm pretty much stuck in that role. Crying over these pretend people is cathartic to me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the seasons premiere of Once Upon A Time is tonight and I need to stock up on Kleenex.