0023. What's my age again?

iTunes: "What's my age again" - Blink 182
Mood: slightly tipsy, mostly intoxicated

PK and I went to his Christmas party tonight and we had a lot of fun. I'm not big on social events, considering my social anxiety disorder is usually pretty fucking crippling and most of the time you have to drag me out of the house kicking and screaming (sometimes literally), but i had a really great time ringing. Maybe it was because of the "Perfect Patron Margarita", the 3 filthy dirty martinis (I have to tell the bartender tha he has to either drag the glass through the Gulf of Mexico or pick up a hooker from the French Quarter and make her spit in it and that's how dirty I want my martini), or the "Spiked Iced Tea" (which I took from Camaro and it was freaking fabulous), but I was feeling the urge to go out to the bar with our friends after the party. But PK didn't want to go. Camaro assured me that he'd convince PK to come with.

And we came home at 10:30.

I begged to go out. BEGGED. But he's tired and wants to go home and blah blah blah. Dude! I'm fucking 27 years old. I'm not 50. Twenty-fucking-seven. All of my going out and partying stopped when I got pregnant with Monkey. And when was that? When I was 21. When did I start going out? When I was 21 (remember the crippling social anxiety disorder?). Yeah, I've gone out since then, but I haven't gotten it all out of my system. And it might take me having a few drinks to get in the mood to want to go out, but I sometimes do want to go. And PK's excuse is that he's been to all the funky bars in the area. He's played that scene and whatever. but I haven't!!!

I moved here when I was 17. I moved away (to join the Navy) when I was 19. Not old enough to go to bars. Not old enough to go to dance clubs that are any kind of fun. I want to go out. I want to have a good time. I want to act my goddamned age! PK is 38. That's not old. In fact, most of the time, I complain that he's acting like a fucking child. But tonight, he's acting like an old fucking man and it's irritating the fuck out of me. He was saying how we never go out and his "Rock Star Lifestyle" is over because he's a husband (he's not) and a father (ok, he kinda is) and now he's saying he's too tired to go to a fucking bar for a drink.

What the fuck ever.